like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
it's like heaven, but drunker
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize