Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Alive.
So much puke
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Randomize