So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
