I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
