Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
