Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
