I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize