If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
