sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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