those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
40s are totally the cure
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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