wrigley field is MILF paradise
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
they're like a gay fantastic four
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
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