Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
