I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
