After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
