I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
