I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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