wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
