C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
