You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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