Have you finally orgasmed yet?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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