He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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