She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
