What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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