So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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