last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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