The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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