i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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