OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
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