so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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