KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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