ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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