We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Is it penis luge time yet?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
