So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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