I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Randomize
