Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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