im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
