IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
