Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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