Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
