i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
