how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
