don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Randomize
