He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
