these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
i believe in u and ur pee
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