I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
