Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize