I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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