guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
