Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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