i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
