You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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