we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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