Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
im six kinds of drunk right now
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
