either way he was missing a nipple.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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