I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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