i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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