i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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