am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I deserve this hangover.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
