Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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