butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
