what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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