Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
