Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
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