bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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