Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
