Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
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