If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
